Missing

I went out to lunch with a fellow Minnesotan yesterday (well, an implanted Minnesotan, but all the same). She was an art and theater major at the U while I was in my first years there, and noticed on Facebook that a friend of a friend (aka me) was moving to Calgary. She moved her last year to do the MFA in art at the University of Calgary. So we met up yesterday, and it was quite nice.

We got to talking about realizations you have when you uproot. I had never done a major uprooting, and I have questioned whether or not I can even consider this something of that nature, as I know I am moving back AT LEAST for the summer, and probably at that time indefinitely, as I will have spent my savings here this year, and will not longer have the money to prove my ability to support myself for another 9 months when I try to come back. I COULD try for a work or study permit, but I again think it would not pan out. Back to the point. Though I know that I am coming home for the summer, which takes a sense of adventure out of it all, I am STILL far away with a different lifestyle for quite a long time. I told Kristin, the fellow Minnesotan, that it has not taken me long of being here to start allowing myself to appreciate home. It is not that I have not appreciated home, I am one of the biggest Minnesota-lovers you will find, but it has taken time for me to allow myself to allow myself to want to be home. I have always had a gypsy complex, and independence that has dictated the ideas that to be well-rounded, I need to get out and see things, live elsewhere, all on my own desire and schedule. While I still want to do these things, I think I can accomplish them by travel.

I know that schooling is ahead of me, and that it will most likely happen elsewhere, so there is another identifiable period of uprooting and trying things new. But I have come to see that tradition, upbringing, etc., CAN be acceptable factors for where you choose to call home. I miss the leaves turning colors other than yellow (and them lasting longer), I miss the Emma Crumbies Scarecrow Contest, I miss the occasional church going when I am home on Sunday mornings, I miss the Spyhouse, lots of locations and happenings and practices. But they are coming into clearer color as I am away.

I think I also need to latch onto the idea of making where I am what I want. When I think on it, I do not miss Zenon or most of the classes I was taking. Maybe I need to be more careful with expanding my horizons, and looking further beyond the obvious answers. When I graduated, I wanted to take African and Indian dance, I came upon clogging and contra but never went further into it. Maybe I need to rely less on old standards and look for new things to embelish them. It is certain to me that the old standards are not doing enough for me. Back to the audition thing as well - I was always too afraid to spend the money and time on going to far away auditions, but I think I need to. A thing that will be easier with more disposable money and time as a server. IE, all of these thoughts are: Complacency (especially in dance in MN) = not fulfillinf or acceptable. I was happy with my produced and choreographed projects, so I can continue in that vein, but I think I need to search further when it comes to class, performance and other opportunities.

Thats all for now.