Intention @ New Years 2020

BELIEF

Consciousness 

VALUES

           

Vitality | Purpose | Curiosity | Kindness | Simplicity

MANIFESTATIONS

Nature

Movement

People

Music

Creation

Food

Style

Travel

My INTENTION is to MANIFEST my VALUES and BELIEF

NY 2020 Ideas for Guiding Intentions

I'm adding this intermediary post because I'm really on the fence about whether or not to be this specific with my 'intentions.' Several of these don't even feel worth writing out because they are things I've internalized and really am already practicing, but in a way, it still feels worth it to be able to see them in writing somewhere. So here they are:

Visit MN state parks

Fly your kite

Experience some state-side travel (Vegas and Austin, Seattle or Boundary Waters)

Invite dear ones into existent action (Dance Church, seeing shows, etc.)

Do short, solo drop-ins for social dance outings if that's what'll get you there!

Integrate reading into nighttime routine

Encourage a "I only feel like I'm really working when I'm DANCING" mindset

Fit 2-3 dance classes in per week when not in rehearsal (tap, African, hip hop, modern)

Maintain a cardio and weight training schedule of 3 times per week

Continue exploring my aesthetic interests in groove, interaction and improvisation-driven jazz through creation of classes, workshops, dances (+ productions) and writings

Use writing to keep documenting artistic research and emergent unique perspectives (ex: how modern dance plays in, ideas about jazz improv)

Explore both creation of new creative work and touring existent work

Submit one new and casual grant or foundation app for RS per month

Cultivate at least one regular higher ed class to teach in the Twin Cities area

Develop two out-of-town residency opportunities

Continue learning how to manage your own expectations

All of this written, I'm really desiring to check in on a simpler framework in my quarterly check-ins, so I've separated that as my final post.

New Years Intentions 2020 - PREP

1). Priming Writing: 

I've already landed in, thanks to getting the juices going with my last post.

2). Revisit previous year’s intentions, comparing how active you were with them as measures of manifesting your values: 

Last year, my work yielded a values/ mission/ guiding statement of sorts, a revision of last year's NYI done halfway through the year:

Vitality & Purpose through Curiosity, Kindness & Simplicity

Here are some other important words/ ideas that were cut out or part of sub-intentions, as well as writings about them: 

VITALITY:

• Consciousness: An offshoot of this was 'embracing noticing as path to gratitude' (David Cain of Raptitude.com). This started as 'presence' and was changed to 'consciousness' after I got thinking more deeply about what defines my movement through life as a creature making positive choices. I think my morning walks REALLY help cultivate this, and I've been doing a better job of trying toward it while dancing, eating, spending time with friends.
• Inspiration: Already, a word I feel has crossover with so much listed below in 'Curiosity' - I think that's why I'm gonna move toward a 'Values & Manifestations' or 'Content & Form' outlook for things for the coming year. I find inspiration in movement, music, nature, food, style, people . . . easy to list off and so clear to me! These inspirations help me find vitality, purpose, kindness and simplicity! Yes indeed, I think my values actually feed each other. I suppose this is not surprising.
• Growth and
• Creation: Related to inspirations! I noted 'Protect the time before 9:30am,' and when I do not have a scheduled money-making item on my calendar, I'm really good about this. I think that's a good balance. Labelling writings - been doing! Daily physicality: walks are my bread and butter for this, though I want to up that to either taking class OR going to the gym every day too.
• Relationships: As noted in my last post, I'd like to make more time to see Joy, Wayne, Reilly and our really close friends. More invites to join me for food/ shows/ music/ dancing!
• Sleep: Been trying to get more of it. That might be contended with if trying for a kid is a choice that is made!

PURPOSE:

• Contribution: Bringing people to embodiment and groove! Giving. 
• Undulation of form and content: Shift.

CURIOSITY:

• Embodiment: Dance - both social (Dance Church, Thursday swing, Sunday House sessions) and presentational/ walks/ yoga/ cardio and weight training. I like to MOVE. It was so obvious to me when in and out of sickness this month HOW MUCH I NEED THIS. I also like pairing it with nature.
• Food: Cooking/ reading about nutrition and policy.
• Intake - Reading, podcasts and videos on topics of interest: methods of indulging curiosities. I'd like to do more reading and less YouTube.
• Output: Writing (reactions to live music and dance shows, journal publications, personal writing), dances and shows, workshops. I'd like to continue to doing more writing and posting of reactions to live music and dance shows/ Walking & nature/ Dances.

KINDNESS:

• Consciousness: There it is again.
• Donate 1% of income: Seems like something we've embraced into regular practice.

SIMPLICITY:

• Complexity - the beautiful human puzzle. Continuing to embrace this as I seek to better-understand things.

Perhaps this year I'll split my ideas into 'Values' and 'Manifestations.'

3). Review past year’s personal writings with an eye toward themes of progress and opportunity related to your values and how you choose to manifest them: 

Continuing: knowing what amount of (and what types of work) is manageable is an ongoing process. And I'm paying attention. SO how much better could I be doing? 

Emergent: setting some goals for RS funding efforts? I don't totally love the word 'goal,' but indeed, some intentions? I haven't put it into writing, but perhaps I should - I'd like to get a new grant or foundation proposal in at least once a month for RS this coming year. That feels reasonable right now. 

Emergent: It appears I DO naturally come back to the artistic ideas I really want to pursue, so perhaps I should stop worrying about creating a system to track them (I already write them down in my notebooks!).

Emergent: More clearly defining my artistic values (groove, interaction, improv) and recognizing what my unique perspectives are (how modern dance plays in, perspectives on improv).

Emergent: Focus more on creating new work or on touring? How about a little of both? 

Continuing: Expectation management.

4). This year reflection questions: guided by what you uncovered in the previous steps, answer the following:

• What did you experience this year? Makers Space program at Keshet in Albuquerque, hot air balloon ride!, residency at the University of Idaho, residency for River Falls, Cowles teaching (the good and the ugly), a Contempo show, Houston and the International Swing Dance Championship, pushing pause on Winona in the Spring (including setting work on Dancescape), Japan trip, Dance BARN, NDEO Jazz Conference/ Rhode Island trip, reformatting the RS annual show, Colorado trip and Courtney's wedding, SAINTS CHAMPIONSHIP!, teaching at the Texas Dance Improv Festival in Denton, Texas State Fair!, Iowa State residency, Morris residency, Social Animals show planning and execution, Hanson, CHILL round 2.5, not getting grants and losing out on plans, learning to use all the rehearsal time I can pay for. Surely lots of other small stuff, but that's what's coming to mind.
• How did what you experienced this year help you manifest your values?: Already addressed in above writings/ prompts. That said, off the top of my head, I'd note increased sense of holding myself to consciousness, more and better sleep, deeper understanding of my artistic interests and purposes over the course of many opportunities, indulging curiosity in habits and letting that feed professional output.

5). Next year reflection (guided by what you uncovered in steps 3 and 4): What do you want/ intend to experience next year that will help you manifest your values? 

Teaching at least one regular higher ed class in the Twin Cities area, additional out-of-town residency opportunities, some state-side travel, tap dancing, live music, African class, social dancing (even if I have to go alone and just for an hour - in fact, that's been awesome!), continued exploration of my aesthetic interests through creation of classes, workshops, dances (+ productions) and writings, I'm interested in visiting more MN state parks, looking for opportunities to invite dear ones into existent action, little ways to help.

6). Framing your intentions: examine your writings from steps 3-5, and format them into intentions that will help you manifest your values while moving you toward desired experiences: 

See next (final) post.

Life Reset

I'm a sucker for reflection prompts and such, and there are always a glut of them around the turn of the new year. This year in particular there have been a lot of decade-related lists too - music of, diet trends of, you name it. These were my examples specifically due to my own interests, but you name the topic, and there are likely several lists for it out there. 

I'm sort of surprised at how little I want to do a decade reflection - in fact, it just crossed my mind. Maybe I'll just do a tiny little one here, stream of consciousness. At New Years in 2009, I'd just moved back from Canada by way of Chicago, moved in with Kris and started dancing with the cloggers. I believe I'd gotten the job at Ginkgo by then and was doing a hodgepodge of that, clogging, EEEing and teaching - I can't recall how Cafeteria/ the days of subbing fit into this, but I think by then I was teaching at Dance Factory.

What a gigantic shift. I no longer work in the service industry (in fact, haven't since Ginkgo, I don't think), I no longer regularly teach in private studios, and I no longer dance with EEE. I kind of find it hard to believe that I've chosen not to go back to it upon returning to the TC after grad school, but it's always felt right to leave it as it was and be involved in the ways I can.

Perhaps that word 'return' is the wrong one. In fact, I know it is. I've always felt that way. Another chapter, perhaps. 

Moving away from the service industry and private studio teaching, and toward deepening my own creative projects and teaching in higher ed and for the Cowles has been an amazing shift. I'm very grateful for what these ten years have brought. Grad school. Deepening my choreography and knowledge of running an organization around my creativity and interests. Being published. Teaching residencies. Dancing with the cloggers and Contempo. Cohabitation. Marriage. The purchase of a home. Loosening grips on old friendships, maintaining and deepening those that feed and establishing new ones. Developing hobby interests in food and style. Officiating a wedding. 

Taking the time to think through all the fruits of the last ten years would take reflective energy I'm not willing to pull away from my reflection of the past year. That said, just thinking about 2009 and 2019 was eye-opening of its own volition. It also makes me realize that my time in Canada was OVER ten years ago now. Milestones.

So back to those reflective lists. I came across this one in an email from a blog/ger I appreciate, Becoming Minimalist. He's called this list "How to Reset Your Life." I think it appeals to me not because I feel I NEED to 'reset my life,' but because I love simplified categories for reflection. A quick pass:

1. Look hard at your spending: I/ we do this regularly, from me checking in on our finances once a week (and him frequently in his own way), our monthly "Save Money Day" - during which we decide if and what amount of money we can put into savings or toward debts or investments, and over-arching conversations about strategy we tend to have quarterly. I DO think I would really like to try having 'Quarterly Retreats' with Kris to discuss finances, vacations and other pressing life matters. Perhaps I'll run this by him. Regardless, besides groceries (which I'm actively tracking!), I'm for the most part very satisfied with our spending, saving, debt-repayment, investing and charitable giving.

2. Consider your time commitments: This is something I kind of have to do ALL the time, given I don't so much have a steady schedule in which each day of the week is always similar. In that regard, I have to keep making sure I look at the bigger picture when I'm adding something to my schedule. For example, when I take on a residency, I try to consider how it fits in the year and month. When I add a workshop or meeting, I try to look at what the rest of the week in question looks like, ensuring I still have time for administrative tasks (and really, for my own movement practices. That said, I've realized part of my issue this fall has been that so often, my Cowles teaching is happening at the same time as the classes I'd like to attend. I think I've gotta then try harder to fit in the ones that will - I've liked my 'in for an hour by my onesie and out' approach to social dancing this week). Right now, I don't have too many, it's more about how they overlap, and solving for that. I generally prioritize the commitment thats going to make me money right now (that's just where I am with work - fortunately I genuinely enjoy everything I do and feel it's all impactful). Knowing that, I want to continue to increase consciousness of adjusting for that to be sure I keep time for classes, the gym and cooking. All of this said, I feel my thought process around all this is going to have to completely change if we decide to try for a kid. None the less, I guess I can just approach all this knowing what I know right now. 

3. Question your work: I do this all the time. That said, I don't want an easy way out, I'm just always thinking of this as my work is always shifting. I'll ask myself to continue to move with the shift in intentional ways.

4. Check your motivations: Vitality & Purpose through Curiosity & Simplicity. A statement of values and intention.

5. Evaluate your relationships: There's no one in my life I'd like to spend LESS time with, so that seems great (except in considering the potential for regaining time!). I'd actually like to see MORE of my parents and brother and our really close friends. I think I'm gonna keep being more proactive about inviting people with me when I make last-minute decisions to go see a show, hear music or go dancing. Mom and dad included.

6. Be honest about your habits: My habits are pretty solid. That said, I think I WOULD like to establish a bedtime routine. Putting things away, a cup of tea and brushing teeth seems good, and I get stuck at whether or not to include reading. Part of me thinks it gets the brain going, yet I always seem to move toward sleep well when I've been reading, so maybe I should give it a try. That'll mean always having a book around, which is something I've been trying to do anyway.

Preparing for NYI

This post serves as preparation for moving through my New Years Intentions process closer to New Years Eve itself. 

Item for Fun: "How to Reset Your Life" from Becoming Minimalist

1. Look hard at your spending.
2. Consider your time commitments.
3. Question your work.
4. Check your motivations.
5. Evaluate your relationships.
6. Be honest about your habits.

New Years Intentions Process

I think that this year, I'm going to use my 'mission of sorts' as a guidepost for assessing the past year and setting intentions for the next. My 'mission of sorts,' as it stands:

Vitality & Purpose through Curiosity & Simplicity

I think I'm excited by the idea that I've been doing this for so long that themes have emerged and do not/ need to change every year. Perhaps the focus/es I give the themes shift slightly from year to year depending upon what I uncover when revisiting the past one, but I feel pretty confident that the themes themselves are here to stay (albeit with some potential tweaking) to stay! In fact, arriving to the above guiding statement has happened just in the past year, as its not what I had ended up with at New Years last year. That was the following:

New Year Intentions 2019

WHY --> HOW --> WHAT
Vitality Presence Growth-Inspiration
Purpose Simplicity-Complexity Relationship-Creation
Contribution Embodiment Danced-Contribution . . .
.
.
v

Practice kindness

Embrace noticing as the path to gratitude (Cain)

Value the complexity-simplicity continuum as the beautiful human puzzle

Expect undulation of commitment level and change in conditions (ex: balancing RS & freelancing)

Protect the time before 9:30am

Label where & when on writings

Expand yourself for wellness, joy and growth: daily physicality outside career (class, tap-yoga-circuits)

cook often

reading, podcasts and videos on topics of interest

connection with loved ones

social dancing (Dance Church, swing, Sun sessions)

live music (buy tickets ahead)

camp three times

sleep

Write and post reactions to live music and dance shows

Donate 1% of income

I do still really like what I'd now consider the 'ideas for manifesting' that I included, but wouldn't consider them actual 'intentions.' I think the intention is the guiding statement, I thing I'm excited to keep consistent. I'm also excited to check in on these 'ways of manifesting,' to figure out what was served, what is useful to carry forward and what potential new ways I might forge.

So here's the (slightly modified) process (see last year's NYE entries for the complete original process):

1. Priming writing: write a little bit about where you are at the moment.
2. Revisit previous year’s intentions: compare how active you were with them as measures of manifesting your mission (listed above for easy-access)
3. Review past year’s personal writings: with an eye toward themes of progress and opportunity related to your mission
4. This year reflection questions: guided by what you uncovered in the previous step, answer the following - What did you experience this year? How did you progress toward your mission? What are opportunities for progress toward your mission?
5. Next year reflection questions: guided by what you uncovered in steps 3 and 4, answer the following - What do you want to experience next year? What continued and new themes of opportunity emerged in your writings from the year that could use some of your focus? 
6. Framing your intentions: examine your writings from step 5, and format them into prompts that will help you manifest your mission while moving you toward desirejd experiences.

Some initial thoughts:

Vitality

Kindness
Consciousness
People: helping, connecting with

Health: sleep quality and amount, diet, movement-dance!

Purpose

People: helping

Dance!

Curiosity

Food: cooking, learning about policy

Adventure: work and pleasure travel, time in nature

Style: in clothing, in moving self through the world

Simplicity

Groove

Focus

I think I'm more than ready to dive into all this when the time comes!

That's What the Holidays are All About, (for) Erinn (Liebhard).

Lately, I've been grappling with - well, not grappling with, just thinking a lot about - belief (thanks a lot, YouTube). No coincidence that it's the holiday season. 

Yes, the title is a nod to the iconic scene in A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus explains to Charlie what Christmas is all about. I've been thinking a lot about what it is to me, and to illuminate that, I need to back it up. All the way up to my 'beliefs' in general.

I often say that I'm somewhere on the agnostic-humanist-aethist spectrum, but I also don't know that I feel I must find a label to describe my faith-belief-moral compass system that other people can understand. As evidenced above, I'm not sure I can really even label what purpose/s I think such systems serve.

I can say I think it's totally ludicrous to suggest that the only place a person can 'find their moral compass' is in religion. There are people who do obscene things to others in the name of religion. In addition, the suggestion that there is one way for ALL humans to do ANYTHING is a total fallacy. There are so many ways to be a good human, as evidenced by how drastically different humans have come to themselves throughout the years throughout the globe. This also leads me quick down the pathway of consideration of other intelligent life in the universe. I think it's pretty ridiculous to think that we are the only intelligent life in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Therein, I'm sure that the other intelligent life in the universe as discovered their own myriad ways to be good sentient creatures.

Back to it. I don't even like the word 'moral.' It's got a sticky film on top of it that I'm pretty sure doesn't taste like sugar. I think I best like the idea of 'being a good human.' That brings forward the question of 'What is good?' So far, my favorite word to sum up how to be good is 'kindness.'

Kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous, considerate.

I think that last one is most important - considerate. To be considerate means you take the time, energy and focus necessary to consider how your actions will impact not only you, but everything outside yourself - not just other people, but our shared environment/ nature/ physical dwelling/ planet.

Kindness toward: Yourself

Kindness toward: Others (sentient creatures)

Kindness toward: Your Environment (from small to large-scale)

'Kindness' is one word to speak toward so many things I hold close for how I'm a good human, including what I've long though of as the 'benefit of the doubt' principle. It goes like this: when I do not receive an explanation for what might be considered inconsiderate behavior from another person, I chose to think that their actions were likely not motivated by the desire to be inconsiderate, but by something more pressing. Take for example a car cutting you off in traffic - they might be on their way to a loved one in the hospital. Why not think this and let your heard be a little kinder, rather than getting mad when it might not even be called for? I'm sad to think that I used to believe such a mindset meant you could easily become a doormat. I now think that if we are not primed to give each other the benefit of the doubt (even if that is more easily motivated by your own more regulated blood-pressure), how will we ever move toward understanding one another better?

Back to what started this process - if not from 'God,' where does my cultivation of 'good-humanness' come from? In thinking more carefully about it, I think it comes from something all humans are equip with: consciousness. We are aware of ourselves, our ability to think and the impacts we make. Yes, this is all true to varying degrees for varying people, but I do think it's worth considering that one's own sense of consciousness is something a great deal of people are able to choose to cultivate. For those people, whether or not we choose to has a great impact upon our abilities to walk through life as a considerate, and in turn kind person. In other words, as a 'good human.'

As I work to cultivate my own sense of consistency consciousness, I've noticed so much more within myself and outside myself. I am more in tune with what causes fluctuation of feeling within me. I am more in tune with what causes fluctuation of feeling within others. I am more in tune with what causes fluctuation of healthfulness of the environments (small to large scale) in which I live and interact. This is not to say that I am 'one with the universe' . . . but maybe it is! There is nothing inherently wrong with this idea! I think to some, it implies the idea that the person suggesting it thinks they are on a more superior plane of existence than the next person (and shit, maybe they ARE). That said, I think a lot of people often feel that adherents to any particular codified religion may find themselves to be on a more superior plane of existence. I think the issue here is dedicating any time and energy to what the next person may be thinking of you, or thinking poorly of the next person yourself.

If 'one with the universe' to you means empathizing with yourself, others and your environment/s in ways that build your ability to approach all you encounter with kindness, get 'one,' baby.

I kind of love how the ideas seem to dovetail with what drives my work in dance: my professional language notes that "I'm driven to help connect people to themselves, one another and the moment . . ."

So what does this boil down to? I think this:

My desire for and actions toward being a good human - one who is kind to them-self, other sentient beings and their environment/s - are driven by my consciousness.

That last part, again, is something we all have and can work toward attaining (to various degrees). I find that pretty inspiring. Some find this through God or various kinds of organized religion. Some find this through paganism and nature rituals. Some do not work very hard to find it. Some have to work so hard through disadvantages to make a living that they might not have much time and energy to TRY and find it.

The more I think about this over my time as a human, the more I realize that it's not helpful for me to try and label 'what it is I believe.' That said, I DO very much wish to understand what drives my goodness. That's why I'm taking the time to dump all this out into my little corner of the internet. So again:

My desire for and actions toward being a good human - one who is kind to them-self, other sentient beings and their environment/s - are driven by my consciousness.

Again, nothing special. Consciousness is something we've all got.

Now, what are the ways I witness and cultivate my consciousness?

Dancing: feeling my own beating heart within my chest

and perhaps those of others nearby

Walking in Nature: feeling close to everything that has

sustained humans for so long

Food: handling my sustenance with care and

appreciating it with each chop

Improvising: in conversation, in making a meal, in movement

. . . I love how creating something in the moment

keeps me on my toes and in real-time

appreciation of my aliveness

For me, these things affirm and celebrate life and the choice to be kind in ways nothing else can!

So next time someone asks me "What do you believe in and how do you practice that?," I hope I have the wherewithal to remember to say something like the following:

"I believe in consciousness. In my own and in that of others. I believe that when we take the care to have a kind awareness of ourselves, each other and our surroundings, we cultivate our shared abilities to be good humans. I cultivate my own consciousness through dancing, spending time in nature, cooking and improvising within all those things."

Quite the lengthy elevator pitch for my belief system, but I do believe in (ha!) my ability to internalize some version of that so I've got it ready when people ask. And more importantly, so I can continue to revisit it myself.

To come full circle with the title of this entry, THAT is also what the Holidays are about to me. They are not about the birth of baby Jesus. They are not about Winter Solstice (though I think that's pretty cool!). They are about taking the care to be especially conscious in offering kindness to yourself, to others and to your environments. This may manifest in cuddling up with a loved one to watch a movie. It might manifest in donating to Toys for Tots so a child in need can experience a much-needed spark of joy. It might be cooking a meal for friends. It might be dancing all your fucking sweat out with a rowdy bunch of people at a modern dance class. It manifests all these ways and more for me. 

I hope I've provided a clear enough window into what the holidays are all about for me, Linus. They are about an emphasized sense of kindness that comes from choosing consciousness. #micdrop