It seems that being in an environment where I am writing all the time, let alone writing all the time about things I care about, has subtracted from my ability to put some good time in on using writing for personal musing. Not only has this blog seen a whole lot less action, my personal journal has as well. I suppose I feel that the writing I am doing for school has a very personal element to it, and that has allowed me to feel it is sufficient. Either that or I plain and simple sometimes need to switch from work to a more mindless activity for escapism. That outlet has frequently been TV. At least it is pointedly chosen TV, and not just channel-surfing. I don' think I have it in me to channel surf.
It's interesting; this lack of personal writing, when I realized it, made me feel sad and a little guilty. I suppose that if my personal writing suffers at the hands of grad school training to help me further pursue my personal-professional-blurred-line passion of dance, then it is probably acceptable. Pulling these thoughts out of my head and into words makes them seem much more ridiculous, which is probably a good thing for my guilt problem. Any thoughts, Lisa?!
I'm not sure that is what I sat down to write this morning when I had an urge to contribute to this blog, it just came out. I am finding my mind wander to when I moved to Canada, and how many pictures I posted. I think perhaps I should do that here. Let's see what I can find . . . Well, that was not super-successful . . . I seem to have taken a set of photos for this purpose. Perhaps soon.
I find myself trailing on to the idea of relaxation. I am finding with my first day here that is not planned out, I am already feeling antsy. I decided to fix that antsyness by sitting down to write, and am now feeling even more antsy for the fact that isn't feeling so productive or needed. Perhaps what I need is to do nothing for a little bit. But I feel like I try that and it never goes so well. My head has already moved on to what I might do when I am done with this. I could guilt myself into feeling bad for not being capable of 'relaxing,' or I could just accept my fate as a freak who needs to be on the move. I am not finding much exciting about the idea of sitting around when there are people to see and things to do.
What made me think it might be a good idea to 'relax' is that I do not seem to want to write about school right now, the thing that has been taking up all my time. Maybe I just do not want to write. Or not on here. Stopping.