After trying Stephanie's "Year in Review," despite having already spent upwards of 6 hours reflecting back on 2014 alone, I'd like to go back and look at my New Years Resolutions since 2007 (graduating college). I did this last year too, but why not try it again (and actually post it?!).;
LITERAL:
2008
LITERAL:
LITERAL:
CONCRETE
TRUST
2007
- Be conscious of writing, speaking and packing: Writing has remained constant and important, I am still working on consciousness in the way I speak, and I've gotten pretty darn good at packing!
- Money should not get in the way of experiences: Getting much better at this. I am learning that 'there is always more money,' as my mom says, and trying to embrace the idea that I can always make more (thanks, Kris). This, like most things, is an object of balance.
- Rather than buying a bunch of cheap things you want, save for and make those expensive purchases: I feel pretty accomplished in this realm.
- Retain consciousness of the world around you: This resolution, in one form or another, is something I have been working on ever since originally writing this. In fact, the majority of my creative work in my MFA program has addressed this idea. I've since moved to the idea of 'presence,' and feel it reflects this best.
- Embrace spontaneity with intention; experience life: at present, much improvement has been made on this. It might have to do with how much I have put more control in my professional life into my own hands, not having to worry about shift work and such. Over-planning and scheduling in my profession life has left me more time free to take advantage of life's random offerings.
- As it happens inside and outside your control, work with change to make it positive: I just wrote this morning that "Flux is a constant." I think a lot about how I used to hope and believe that there would be a point where I "had things figured out." Considering that life is always in the process of changing, this is a misnomer. I have come to embrace that this is not scary, but actually very comforting; no one, including me, EVER has all their shit figured out. Instead, we all wade together through the flux, making choices at any given moment that best respond to where we are at any given moment.
- The choices you make are defining, but not limiting: I've focused on the last part; because choices are necessary, it feels pretty important to me to not allow them to feel limiting. Or perhaps, I can see this through an artistic lens; in making art, limitations can be VERY freeing. They create a scope through which to move toward accomplishment and fulfillment.
- Choices are just pockets out of a world where similar things are happening everywhere: I think about this when I think about living in a much bigger place than I do. It is easy for me to feel FOMO (as the internet mass has so cutey coined it), and along with that comes stress. It's not necessary (see above).
- Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook: Don't judge when its not helpful. This has been happening. Less about the them as applied to me, more about the things I can do to control my own outlook, as that is truly the source of personal power.
- Convention does not have to get in the way of acting, reacting and feeling the way you truly want: I don't think I've ever let this happen. In fact, the opposite can happen - sometimes I buck the things that might inform my life because they are 'stereotypical.' Despite this, I have been lucky enough to feel the power of love, and am happy to allow it an important place in my life.
2008
- Give each action the amount of time and resource it deserves: This is something that came from Kris. I am definitely making progress.
- Respect the need for unscheduled time each week; maintain a weekly day off: Done. Except when I am in school. Saturday have become protected.
- Allow general interests, personal goals and to-do's to operate with as much importance as work: My tune on this has changed. While I do have hobbies, they do not operate with as much importance as work because work is my importance, at that is ok; it is a choice.
- The choices you make are defining, not limiting: reflected upon below. Some things just keep coming back!
- Choices are just pockets out of a world where similar things are happening everywhere: see below.
- Resist the temptation to see life in chunks: Fluidity. An important concept.
- Everything is a fluid stream of happenings that need not be separated for judged ahead of time: There it is again.
- Life as a whole can be informed by art, which in turn becomes a part of your whole life: They are very intwined for me, more than ever before.
- Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook: Below.
- Embrace spontaneity with intention: Below. That said, this implies that spontaneity can be directed by an inner sense of purpose. Everything is, if you will it to be.
- As it happens in and outside your control, work with change to make it positive: A source of continued, constant reflection.
- Retain consciousness of the world around you: See above.
2009
LITERAL:
- Allow personal interests to operate with as much importance as other commitments: See above.
- Be willing to dedicate time and resource toward living the way you wish: Been working on this - letting myself buy things to spruce up my living space, traveling, taking time off.
- The choices you make are not limited, but defining: A revolving door.
- Choices are just pockets out a world where similar happenings are occurring everywhere: A revolving door.
- See life as a fluid stream of happenings that may not be judged or separated ahead of time: A revolving door.
- Life as a whole can be informed by art, which in turn becomes a part of your whole life: A door that revolved a couple times.
- Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook: A door that revolved a couple times.
- Trust your instincts: Trust. This has become important over the years.
- Show your gratitude: Gratitude. Another that has become important over the years.
- Retain consciousness of the world around you: A revolving door.
- Relationships do not have to be life-long to be life-changing: An excellent mantra that I created for myself as a camp counselor in the summer of 2004. Noteable, quotable, and something to which I have really held on.
2010
- Dedicate time and resource toward living the way you wish: Working on it, a revolving door that has become habitual.
- Spend more time actually enjoying your senses: Another way to say consciousness, presence, awareness. A constant.
- Establish a morning routine: Or perhaps just routines in general. I thought I'd be the creature of habit in my relationship. Turns out, I am the flexy one. That said, I believe in the power of routine and ritual to creative potential, and have been working on this. I like my mornings/ days to include time outside, physical time, writing or reflecting time, work time (be it either physical or mental or ideally both) and some personal time. Within, I like to get enough sleep and feed myself well.
- Personal style = doing what feels good: A notable and quotable from a student. A revolving door that has become habitual.
- Allow personal and professional interests to blossom and inform one another: More and more true. They are becoming entwined, and art reflects life.
- See life as a fluid stream of happenings that you are both informed by and inform: Revolving door.
- Trust your instincts: Revolving door.
- Be actively present in the world around you: Revolving door.
- Embrace change in yourself and others as simply another way in which the world unfolds: Revolving door.
- Seek out a sense of groundedness that serves as both a base for adventure and a point of balanced return: I believe this to be a more specific reflection of my idea that it's YOUR world, it is in pockets, limitations can be freeing. Working on this still and always.
- Allow space for moment to become what they will, free of limitation: An interesting juxtaposition to the above. Leaving space for presence to dictate.
2011
- Strive/ ENJOY/ Reflect: They lost the categories and are getting shorter and shorter. Trying to put these into items I can remember. These are phases.
- Flexibility/ Planning: Yin and yang ways to succinctly say the above.
- Groundedness/ Change: Same.
- Live the way you desire: A revolving door that has become habitual.
2012
TRUST
- Trust in my choices - Stability, Focus, Belief: Revolving door.
- Trust in who I am - Value, Fullness, Contentment: Revolving door.
- Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be: Revolving door.
2013
- Every moment spent not content is a moment wasted, so seek depth in your passion, practice your ability to be present, and then . . . be content: A mantra. It was pointed out to me that content is sometimes not the object of desire; always questioning yet at peace. What is the way to say this?
- Drink more water: Throwback to old-school literal lists (they were even more like this pre-2007).
- Spend time listening to music with care: there it is. Still working on this.
- Allow side projects and hobbies to be important: See above, re: changed tune.
- Pay attention to process: presence, etc., revolving door.
- Understand that you are exactly where you are meant to be: See above.
- Practice you ability to be present: See above.
- Seek depth in your passion: Revolving door.
- Things always work out if you let them: Letting go - back to trust.
- Hold yourself to ambitious yet reasonable expectations: Scope, limitation.
- Understanding is a constantly shifting creature: Flux is a constant.
- Every moment spend not content is a moment wasted - be content: Feeling affirmation in presence amid flux.
2014
- Continually seeking matter . . .: A mantra. Matter even feels limiting here. Perhaps its not matter, but presence and curiosity in the flux.
- Presence: Always revolving.
- Listening: Somewhat new. Implied within presence and curiosity in the flux.
- Trust: also implied.
- Gratitude: Presence, curiosity and gratitude amid the flux.
On I move to collecting the thoughts I've swept through in these several exercises, posts, pages and hours to define my hopeful approach for my next journey around the sun.
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