Thursday, July 12, 2018

Oh-Shit-I Need-to-Write-a-Grant-For-Next-Year Check-In

Timing.

Prioritizing time.

As a resource.

In the place where planning for the next couple years has to happen while you are in the midst of so much . . . it's like that's all the time . . .

Feeling the importance of really checking in on my values and subsequent priorities as I attempt to lay plans for the next year professionally. After all, if this important step is skipped, my value of intentionality/ simplicity will not be put into action, and I won't be able to action on my desires for my personal life too.

Presence
Intentionality/ Simplicity
Embodiment

I believe I'm bringing into being Presence by the simple fact that I am offering the time and focus toward pondering all this (side thought: one thing to let go of is EE - I don't REALLY go out of my way anyway, so maybe I can mentally let it go . . . it'd be REALLY neat to learn how to twirl fire and do such gigs, but it'd also be neat to Parkor, and learn to play the bagpipes, and various other things I've chosen to curate out/ let go of . . .). 

Intentionality/ Simplicity (at least when it comes to this situation of being pushed into "season planning," per say): At the heart of going through this process is my desire to be intentional with how I use my resources (time, focus, money, etc.) with regard to my professional pursuits, so as to allow Vitality (a Priority) in the personal. 

Embodiment: That's walking the walk, which I'm attempting to do by maintaining Presence and creating Intentionality/ Simplicity.

These measures bring forth my Priorities - Vitality, Purpose and Contribution.

Bringing me to how my thought processes today will enable me toward Desired Experiences: perhaps I should see social dancing and tap and African classes as under the hood of "physicality every day," and I think I should see my morning walks as such as well - I ALWAYS get those, so in a sense, I am already experiencing that desire. I think it's ok to call that out, as I feel I am in no danger, especially considering how Contempo is shaping up for the year, of getting lax in the dancing aspect of this desire. As for cooking and nutrition, I've pin-pointed that "time in the kitchen" with food podcasts, at least once a day, helps me experience this desire. I'm excited to have just bought a cast-iron pan and to have good knives again, and will continue to experiment with trusted and new recipes of interest for leisure as able.

I've made pretty good on seeing shows, and sometimes on writing about them (i.e. "research and performance-reflective writing"). Perhaps I also want to factor into this desire providing verbal feedback to artists - while there is no written documenting of my thoughts, the practice of arriving to them happens. Regarding live music, it seems like, in relation to my resources, this is always the first thing to get jettisoned. I'll embrace my place of awareness on this and move toward change on it.

Where does this bring me in relation to my professional desires? They include:
  • Education: between WSU, the Cowles and Zenon, I'm good here. In fact, I'd like to be doing LESS teaching even though I love it, as I'd like to make more space for other things - it's just difficult when this is where much of the money is for me. Perhaps I should expand my viewpoints a bit to acknowledge more regularly that "Education" comes in many forms - to the folks involved with my productions, from offering feedback and doing special events/ talk-backs, etc. Perhaps I also need to make a mindset shift with the "this is where I make my money" thought process. Stretch myself to further envisioning how the other work can make me more money, making it easier to release the reins on some of this teaching. Building MORE space for my colleagues to tour/ bringing them in will hopefully also result in more of them "bringing me in" to their companies/ schools/ etc. 
  • Performing the work of others I find interesting (Contempo): This is going to be a lot in this arena this next year, but so it goes. This is why it feels even more important, in relation to everything else, to know exactly when we will be rehearsing. Going to reach out to Mallory today about EEE's current rehearsal schedule. Would Ann be open to me teaching once a week to be able to have space? Otherwise I'll have to include space rental (Cowles is more convenient for ME) in any proposed budget I offer. Can also apply to Jerome for this, MRAC org grant, St. Paul Star, and perhaps more national awards when trying to bring in national folks. Collapsing everything into one org would also save me org time - one board, etc. This is where I had fallen before, but . . . Embrace the name-change.
*Good time to note that I'm frustrated this "season planning of sorts" is having to happen now, as I've gotten excited about my idea for an artistic retreat for myself, but deadlines call. I think I'll do it anyway, I just think much of the formative thought is happening now. I also feel a little fear that I'm trying to square a new idea away to quickly to get a grant in, but there is also something said for just needing to make decisions. 
  • Exploring my artistic voice and making from it: Continuing my own choreographic projects with more support.
  • Garnering more monetary support for these projects, supporting my community of local, national and international folks interested in jazz and vernacular (particularly American) dance styles informing concert dance approaches and bring brought to stage - while also making opportunities for myself as a maker and performer within this main interest.
I think this is the juncture (ha! piece title) at which I attempt to do some (grant)writing.

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