Personality Traits of People with Creative Flow

Hm...doesn't everyone and their mom think that they are creative?

Ok, well let me re-phrase; doesn't anyone with any spec of self-esteem think they are creative? I think the answer must be yes, and I am not sure if I think that is good or bad thing.

I read an interesting blog this morning from Entrepreneur the Arts (http://blog.entrepreneurthearts.com/2011/11/07/creative-productivity-the-creative-theorists-part-3-csikszentmihalyi/). It addressed Csikzentmihalyi's theory of 'flow' as the creative channel between boredom and anxiety, skill and challenge; his way of describing the onset of the creative process. Very interesting stuff. Along with defining this 'flow,' he describes the characteristics of people that tend to possess the ability to flow. Said traits;

Creative people have a great deal of physical energy, but they’re also often quiet and at rest.
Creative people tend to be smart yet naive at the same time.
Creative people combine playfulness and discipline, or responsibility and irresponsibility.
Creative people alternate between imagination and fantasy, and a rooted sense of reality.
Creative people trend to be both extroverted and introverted.
Creative people are humble and proud at the same time.
Creative people, to an extent, escape rigid gender role stereotyping.
Creative people are both rebellious and conservative.
Most creative people are very passionate about their work, yet they can be extremely objective about it as well.
Creative people’s openness and sensitivity often exposes them to suffering and pain, yet also to a great deal of enjoyment.

I first read these, I thought 'WOAH! I just read a portion of my horoscope!' And yes, I do believe in astrology. Then I heard Kris' voice of reason come into my head, saying something to the affect of 'You can make anything you read fit to yourself if you want to.' It is an interesting thing to consider. Did I apply all these characteristics to myself because I want to BELIEVE I possess them, i.e. that I am creative, or do I actually exhibit these qualities?

Basically, what I am getting at is a larger psychological question, one that seems to come up in a number of ways every day for me. And I do not think I am alone. In the midst of all these thought-processes about ideals and tendencies according to generation, I think this must be shared by my generation of peers that were raised to think we could do whatever we want, be whatever we want, accomplish anything. Yes, there are great things about thinking this way. There are also absolutely debilitating things about thinking this way too. I am coming to feel I had better unveil the source of this injection of thought; http://nymag.com/news/features/my-generation-2011-10/.

Pretty freaking interesting to consider. How right are we about ourselves? At any given point, are we on to something, or just falling into the trap of being able to cast ourselves in whatever light we wish?

Something to consider.

My Grandpa

Homework for 'Blue Heaven,' with Lisa Conlin.

My grandpa was a big, burly kind of guy. I picture him best with his scratchy red and black flannel hat, the kind of hat that looks best when riding a tractor. He had rough, work-worn hands that scared me a little when I was really small. I was just not used to seeing and feeling the kind of hands that took charge of the tough kind of labor he accomplished each day.

As I grew, I not only got used to those rough hands, but I grew to love them. He had a special chair in the living room that was just for him. But that certainly didn't mean he was the only one who got to sit in it. In fact, I suspect that he sat in it after a days work just so I could hop up and sit with him. When I was sad or frustrated about something, he'd always say 'Why, I'm sorry, Erinn.' I would always tell him, 'Grandpa, it's not your fault,' because it wasn't. It never was. He'd always come back with a big grin full of love and a response of 'Well, I'm still sorry.'

It always made me smile because I knew he really meant it, and he had a way of telling me so with a smile on his face. I can still hear him say it, and it still makes me feel better. Especially if I picture him in his flannel hat.

Over-committed, but not Un-inspired . . .

Here I am sitting on my make-shift porch, having a flash-back to another point in my life. At this point it my life, I was also planning to apply to school, I was learning a new situation, and surrounded by new people. Hmm. It was also right around this time of year. It blows my mind that the time I am referring to was truly three full years ago. I can look back into it like it was yesterday. The same weather, the same kind of feelings . . .

Then here is something to ponder; the role of flux. I have been spending a lot of work and thought time, in the last couple of years, pondering how to keep my life from fluxing so much, thinking that ‘stability is best.’ Yes, this idea about stability might be true. An amount of predictable-ness I am sure provides for even footing and ability to look beyond. That calls into question what is meant by ‘predictable-ness.’ I could present a new word here, and likely just reach the playing-ground that I need to determine the meaning for that word too.

What I think it comes down to is the fact that different concepts play well for different people. Doing the ‘StrengthsFinder’ for work really helped me clue in on the fact that all too many people, including myself, tend to focus on our weaknesses instead of strengths. In my case, in relation to stability, this often men that I have been giving myself shit for not being able to find one full-time job that I want to be in. I think I need to stop giving myself shit and embrace the fact that I thrive when put into many situations in a given time period. I LIKE to work a lot of places, and can organize the ability to do that. That said, I also always need to be cognizant of when I may be pushing that ability too far. On the opposite side, people who use their strengths best when focusing in on just one thing likely need to watch themselves to be sure that they are not stagnating in the face of having no new influences in their lives.

It seems that this process of embracing self is going to be happening for quite some time. In fact, harking back to my story about the co-op lady; it probably never will happen, and anyone who tells you otherwise is full of it. It seems that this will be a life-long process. If you pay any attention to the things you like about others (and you probably should J), you will likely spend your whole life warding off the tendency to try and figure out how to be more like them. It’s certainly a great idea to try and emulate within yourself the things you like about others, it just seems really crucial you are in fact trying to emulate rather than be.

Here is a personal example; I find a lot of strength in always looking forward and planning toward the future. It keeps me, and often the people around me, motivated and excited for the next step. I can capitalize on this strength when put in brainstorming and creative direction roles, which is something I am trying to do more of. I can supplement this strength by asking myself to more often enjoy what is happening to me in the moment. Like right now, there is a small, breeze, the gental hum of a plane overhead, the wiz of an air-conditioning unit, chirping, and a nice grass smell. Noticing all this together is almost overwhelming me, both with the use of so many senses at once, as well as the thought that this kind of observation is available to me at any time, in any place.

So, over-committed but not un-inspired. Seems to be the way that I like my life. Chill with it.

The Road There

August has come to mean a flutter of artistic activity with a big pause button on the end; Fringe, Rhythmically Speaking, go go go . . . STOP. State Fair. This year will be a little different still. Starting a new job in the midst of this chaos, what was I thinking?

Well, it seems, the more I travel, that the road to clarity is paved with many stopping points that have a purpose of some kind. I know that State Fair is a mental reset, a comfortable stop in which I know the surroundings, and that makes me ready to keep traveling, whether the travels bring me somewhere familiar or somewhere completely new. I can feel that this coming set of travel after State Fair reset is going to be an interesting combination of both familiar and new. Just new enough to make the path lead to clarity.

Now I just have to travel. Sometimes I think my compass is broken, but most well-traveled path-seekers know that a compass is just a guideline and that you are likely to shift slightly from where you first imagined going. But in the end, they often come back out at the trailhead. My trailhead? Dance.

So yes, I am coming to learn, more and more, that the road to clarity is road that we continue to travel, kind of like the road that brings you home after a days work. Now, it is the continued quest to help myself feel comfortable with the idea that I will always have my backpack on, walking stick in hand, looking for the right direction.

Progression

On my way to it. All the time. I am becoming convinced that this isn't something that stops at any time, it just keeps going. Kind of like non-profit funding; the asking for money never does stop, dad. Unfortunate but true.

In this case, I know it's true, but I'm thinking that it isn't unfortunate. Each experience you take in leads you to another, some times what you expect, and other times what you do not. My mental process surrounding taking this job brought me to the fear of being pressed into one kind of lifestyle. I find it curious what I elect to worry about, as my mother's reminder of 'nothing's permanent' flashes through my head. Yes indeed, nothing is permanent, and each thing helps bring you closer to fuller understanding of the best way you can function.

My progression crossroads seem to have brought me to a for-now conclusion regarding schooling; my masters will either be non-profit admin or dance. After thinking about and researching many other options, I have come to realize that it really is ok to be surface-interested in many, many things. You do not have to have formal training in something to know about it. These realizations were comfortable ones that calmed my brain. I can be interested in public health and neuroscience and nutrition, and not have take on any of them in a formal work scenario. I keep finding, the more I traverse through life, that the things I don't think too much about, but just do because I am drawn to them (because I HAVE to), turn out to be the things I truly want to be doing. Making shows, performing, administrating; these are the things that I continue to find myself doing. No matter how crazy they drive me sometimes, they are what I keep finding myself rotate around. That said, what passion and being driven crazy kind of come together; your passion drives you crazy and your crazy drives you passion.

Back at it; it's nice to accept that maybe I should just keep doing what I am doing, knowing that 'what I am doing' or 'what I want to be doing' is certain subject to change. I may find, in being in this job, one of three things; 1.) I want to make my future in admin - non-profit admin masters, 2.) I want to let my future be embellished, but not driven by admin, choosing dance instead or 3.) That there is a different interest lurking in the background. Obviously, there are a number of other things that could happen, but I selected the most obvious ones. Part of me already has this gut feeling that I will be going back for a dance masters, or sociology or history with an emphasis in dance, but who knows? I guess that is the moral of life story; who knows?

Future 'planning' like this certainly puts into perspective the need to 'plan' more than just my career for where I am headed. I am committed to someone, and that has it's needs in interaction with my career and other choices. I may be a person who loves to work and is career oriented, but I am also a person who loves her friends and family. It's crazy how, like joints and bones, decisions/ choices and people are connected.

So on I traverse. I do hope and plan to put attention into a couple things; I need to think carefully about how my choices will impact me/us financially, as well as in terms of general living, and I certainly hope that the people who are connected to my life think the same way. Man alive, life is complicated. My sense of this grows with each day.

In the midst of these figurings, there are a couple important things to remember;

'It will always look better in the morning,' and 'Give the benefit of the doubt.'

Thank you, mom and grandma!

New Orleans 3: Danced Differences

I have written from new Orleans about my experiences with difference in people and in city-structure. Now, on to the culture of African and other ethnic dance. I have noticed many interesting things, from pedagogical to personal differences.

I have certainly had a fair amount of exposure to African and other 'ethnic' dance forms in my past, but most of it (outside of DJD) has been scattered, and here and there in terms of frequency. Having a whole lot of this kind of class in a row, the first pedagogical detail I have noticed is how the almost exclusive teaching method is mimicry. This has it's strong-suits, in terms of transferring nuance. It also has it's drawbacks, most of which have to do with picking up detail, or correct execution. Steps are almost never broken down, you just have to pick up what you can from watching. Part of me things this makes me less inhibited because I am less concerned with getting it 'perfect,' but another part of me thinks that if I am going to take this much class, I want to be sure to be learning the steps as they are meant to be executed. A particularly interesting example of this was Roseangela's class (www.silvestretraining.com). I came upon a chance to ask a question about the actual step, which I phrased in terms of what kind of shape we are looking for. She of course came back with the suggestion that we are not looking for shape, but rather what comes out as shape from what has been initiated by a movement pattern, which started in the first place from expressive impulse. I had to coax this out a bit, but that was probably just because she is from Brazil, and speaks pretty excellent English, but needed a little help getting the thought into terms I'd and other students would catch on to.

This was an example of a perfect response to the kind of question I offered. I feel like most African and ethnic styles teachers, in pretty much refusing to give exact shape details, mean to provide the idea that Roseangela did, it just often does not come across due to language or sound barriers (ie really loud drums!). I love the idea that detail can be excess and limiting, it just needs to be communicated in a way that relates to this suggestion to come across. Maybe that is true just for dancers who have had a lot of exposure to the opposite learning method; learn the shapes, then put the expression in. So, access the expression and the shape will come (African and other ethnic forms), or access the shape and the expression will come (Western forms of modern and ballet). Either way, we are dancing and thinking, thinking and dancing, and what a wonderful thing.

Along these same lines, I realize that by breaking less of the movement down, we are actually moving a whole lot more! Most classes have us following along for a warm-up in the center for about 15 minutes, and then the remaining hour and 15 of the class is spent going across the floor, learning by doing rather than talking. While I love talking and symantics, I also love moving, and it has been such a true pleasure to be locomoting pretty much the whole of each class. Maybe it is just a personal preference, but boy do I love not getting stuck in the center!

Another thing I have noticed is that the teachers whose 'training' has been completely situational (ie from being born and raised in the country of origin of the dance) seem to not mirror students when teaching. I say 'training' simply because many of them come from cultures that their experience with dance is not looked at that way. Instead, dance and music are things that everyone does together on a regular basis. That's a pretty awesome way to get to know dance. Anyway; We have been working in a classroom with no mirrors (which is probably best in terms of inhibitions). The teachers often face us, but when they do so, they end up starting on the right and meaning for us to start on the right when it looks to us like they are on the left. This is not a huge deal, and easy to adjust and figure out, but simply something I have noticed. My 'teaching training' has always emphasized the importance of both trying to face the students and also to mirror them (making me do the side opposite of what they are doing, but having it look like the proper side when I am facing them). However, when I think back to my experiences teaching over this last year, I can think of several younger students that would get more confused if I faced them and did the opposite side to look like their side. They more successfully understood when they could mirror me exactly (ie my back to them on the same side). Part of me now wonders that if, when I chose to face them, they'd be more successful if I stayed on the same side as them a looked opposite. I guess we humans have a fair amount of intuition surrounding directional capacity! Long story short, it seems like neither method is better than the other; just different strokes for different folks! A good mantra to remember at all times.

Here is another example of this 'different strokes' idea; start and end time for class. Almost ALL of my classes here (and pretty much any other African class I have taken) start late and end late. While this is frustrating to me as someone who is used to and prefers timeliness, but natural and best for people who are more used to a laid back approach as a part of their culture. And I'd say, in choosing to come to an African and vernacular dance camp, I have chosen to experience things the way these forms usually come; late!

Here is another interesting difference I have noticed; ALL of the teachers are VERY charismatic. Part of this is likely because they are living a life in dance, a life of their passion. Then again, I know many many people who are doing basically that, but very few of them communicate the kind of passion these individuals do through their teaching. Their characters are each so inviting and engaging that it is almost hard to even get tired in the middle of a VERY high energy class! As a teacher, I'd like to aspire to communicate that kind of passion to my students. Not just once awhile, but every class, like these teachers. In this, I have found dissolving my need to take each class the way I am used to (to a mirror, with details broken down, shape-based).

Now, on to the factor that I have not mused upon so lightheartedly; race relations. This is something that has crossed my mind in the past in taking African and other ethnic forms, but not as specifically until now. My first experience with African class was at the U of M. My class had all sorts of people in it, black, white, asian, American indian, etc, though primarily white (as Minnesota is generally). My next big experience was in Calgary. The major cultural factor I noticed there was that I was waltzing into a class that had been together for 15 years. Indeed there were many different races in that class as well, but many white people (again, the grat majority of Calgary is white). ***As a side-note, in talking about these things, I really do hate using color words to describe people. What does white mean anyway? I have a lineage, and it isn't 'white,' or 'caucasian,' its Irish, French and German. What does 'black' mean? Shouldn't it be Libyan, Congolese or maybe Cuban? Anyway.***

Here, I am very often of the minority in class, something I did not really notice until trying to introduce myself, unsuccessfully at that, to several people in my classes. That being said, I have had many people be very friendly, the way I am used to when offering an introduction. I thought at first that this might be a North/ South thing, but in talking to folks around the workshop, have gathered that it may be a white/ black thing. Chris, one of my apartment mates, who happens to be a 60-year-old white woman from Minnesota, has been taking African and related dance forms frequently for many years. She has been to many camps, and knows the scene in Minneapolis/ St. Paul. We got to talking, and she really does feel that there is often this harbored (or sometimes not) sense of racial tension in many of these classes. More frankly, this feeling that a white person taking African class is just, again, trying to take something that is not theirs. I have had the sense here and there that there are folks that are wondering what I am doing here. On the flip side, I have talked to many people who think its awesome that I am expanding my dance horizons and care so much to learn about their fascinating culture.

This topic could be a thesis in itself. However, the more I think about it and experience it, the more I come to a pretty simple conclusion; in any situation, in any place, there are both good people and bad people. All we can do is focus our energy on falling into the first category, and aligning ourselves with folks who do the same. I clued in on that idea shortly after having a negative introduction experience with one particular individual on the first day. After having that experience, thinking about this topic, and choosing to fall into category one, I have had almost nothing but fun, enjoyment, and genuine connection with those who do the same.

What a great, dancing microcosm of the world. Boy, am I glad I am here!!!

New Orleans 2: Cultural Differences

Back to the keys after a little more time. Yesterdays post was a little disjointed, due to being interrupted with grant news. An interruption I'll always be happy to take! Hopefully now I come back with a bit more of a gathered focus.

In this post, I'll muse about some more about cultural differences, particularly where the city itself is concerned. As far as the city, the first big thing I can say is that when I look around, I find it difficult to believe that most of the buildings down here, like anywhere else in the metropolitan U.S., are equipped with internet, and that we are in fact in 2011. The presence of history here is quite literal, and I wonder if that is part of what makes race relations so fragile. You look around and there is constant reminder of history. Then again, I think this is relatively true most places, but maybe not to the extent so clear that it is here. Gaggling at the old buildings makes you look at them closely, and while you do that, you realize that some are kept in excellent shape and therefore still majestic, and some are left to fall into ruins. This at first seems like a matter of carelessness, until you realize that the level of upkeep often corresponds to the economy of the neighborhood. Again, things are fragile here, and in talking to people, it seems that it is even more so after the hurricane; that any progress that might have been made in certain parts of the city was just whipped away. The feeling is that it will take another how many years to build back up that progress.

The living history of the city does seriously intrigue me, to the level of wondering what it would be like to be a resident and actually have time to be a part of the culture. I'll note that this feeling is gathered from my short amount of time out, because as I'll remind you, I am here to dance; I have been using my day time for 6-7.5 hours of class and breaks for meals and recuperating to go back to class! But I am indeed intrigued. Maybe it is because I have an amount of natural wanderlust. Maybe it is because I am noticing something that I think I can have a hand in changing, and I am a glutton for social punishment. Who knows exactly what it is. It could also simply be that when I am somewhere new, I want to get a pretty good idea of how the city lays, where things are, where to do what, so that I feel like I have an understanding of where I have spent my time. Then in comes a reminder that I will provide to myself; you cannot do everything all of the time. I came here to dance, and I should probably do myself a favor and focus on doing that and building relationships around that. It seems that sometimes, my tendency to want to do everything gets in the way of doing anything to my best. Am I seeing a pattern? 'I am stick of doing 9 or 10 things at 65% when I could do 4 or 5 things at 100%.' Have I not been repeating that over and over lately?

Getting off topic. Back on; It seems that I'll just have to keep getting out to explore as much as I can, however it might happen. In the course of my explorations, I have also come across some cultural differences that are not intriguing. As a Twin Citian, I am fortunate to be used to very cleanly public surroundings. Not the case here. I am also used to pretty easy access to well-organized information. I have been very surprised here at the lack of public information, and what I can find is not well organized, incomplete, or not very well presented (many of the websites down here look like they have not gone through an update since 2000!). This suggestion will probably come as no shock to anyone who has spent a fair amount of time in the South (maybe I am generalizing, who knows); Sometimes it feels laid back here, to a fault. I will be the first to admit that I think Midwesterners, including myself, can often be too uptight. However, that tendency certainly serves it's purpose. This laid back feeling here has manifested itself primarily through timeliness. We in the Midwest are pretty well on time. Here, everything starts late and goes late.

That's enough about the city as a whole. I guess I can sum it up by saying that I'd need more time here (like most places in the world). Damn that curiousity!