Admittance

I LIKE that I don't have to pack all three of my meals several times a week.

I LIKE that I don't have to ping-pong between five different places in one day, multiple times a week.

I LIKE working from home with Kris around, and seeing him so much more. 

I LIKE that we can go on walks together at lunch time too, not just in the evening sometimes.

I LIKE that the frequency with which we can make an evening walk happen is higher.

I LIKE that we bought kayaks, break up going on walks sometimes by choosing to do that instead.

I LIKE that our choice of activities is MUCH simpler.

I LIKE that I am cooking up most of our food from home.

I LIKE that the above causes me to sometimes cook 3-4 times a day.

I LIKE that limitation on activities we feel are safe has caused us to spend more time outdoors at our parents homes, catching up with them.

I LIKE that so much of what makes up life feels simpler for us, for the moment.

There are a lot of things I DON'T LIKE about this moment in time, but that feels like a given. Admitting how many things I DO like about it - many of which I recognize are fueled by not only careful planning but also privilege - almost feels wrong. They feel like secrets I've been holding close to my chest. I'm not sure which entity I've wanted to admit this to less: others or myself.

That said, there is a certain power in being able to do so. It helps be acknowledge that many of my feelings are conflicting right now. Admittance doesn't SOLVE for X, but it does help me feel a little more peaceful about X's existence. It helps me sit with X.