Some Day, I'll Have a Window Facing East.

Silence

I decided to sit and observe the silence this morning, after having been really inspired by the articles we are reading for our Music Seminar class. Many of them have spent a great deal of time considering the idea of silence, and in that, the tyranny of sound. When you think about it, one really cannot escape sound.

This morning, I moved my 'office' out of my bedroom and into the living room so I could change my sitting perspective (couch) view (mountains in a different angle). I did not get the idea to 'observe the silence' until I had set everything up and sat down. I looked into the little candle I lit, and thought it might be nice to observe a little before I got going on my 'real' work. Ha.

What I would normally consider perfect silence in my apartment is not. While the world is (mostly) still asleep (or at very least, my roommates), there is plenty of sound still happening; the whir of the refrigerator, the buzz of passing cars on the frontage road and highway that runs in front of our building, the crackle of the couch as I adjust or breath more deeply into my back (I was using the change of sitting scenario as a way to practice that too).

I started to shut and open my eyes, and when I did, I noticed that I automatically wanted to attach sound patterns to visual patterns, both of which were examples of light. That said, attaching a visual to anything is actually being respondent to light, but I digress. The candle I had light seemed to flutter with the same kind of whir as the fridge, and the buzz of the passing cars actually found a small place to reflect as light off of the third panel of pulled up blinds on our big window in the living room. Perhaps I was just seeing what I wanted to see. Regardless, I found it interesting.

I also noticed that each time I opened my eyes after having them shut, it was lighter outside. This was no surprise of course. I just love being awake specifically at this time so I can see the change from night to day. It was simply emphasized by this little experience.

All in all, I probably did not spend more than ten minutes on this exercise. But I am proud that I even spent that much time. As someone who likes to actively rather than passively process (notice the amount of writing I have spit out regarding less than ten minutes of pretty much nothingness), ten minutes is pretty decent. Maybe this is my better way to implement meditation; in my own space, on my own time (15 instead of 30 minutes) with the ability to actively process whenever it is desired. I love the  energy of others, but I get it all day!

So, silence. Kind of impossible. But why not try while ready to be reflexive to what is gathered?

Listening to Alt-Country Makes Me Long For a Life I'm Not Sure Would Function For Me

New Years Resolutions 2013

2013

Every moment spent not content is a moment wasted, so

seek depth in your passion, practice your ability to be present, and then

. . . 

be content

Here, I found myself again creating the digital summary of my annual New Years reflection session. The journal saw several many pages, but they have been worked into digestible chunks. After looking back on the last year, as well as on the lists of the last several years resolutions, I have found that at least as of late, I have been a lot more successful in consistently pursing these goals when they are digestible. So here, I put for record for myself the couple concrete and abstract expansions of the items that inspired the simple mantra above (that I'd like to have documented);

2013
CONCRETE

Drink more water

Spend time listening to music with care 

Allow side projects and hobbies to be important

ABSTRACT

Pay attention to process

Understand that you are exactly where you are meant to be

Practice you ability to be present

Seek depth in your passion

Things always work out if you let them

Hold yourself to ambitious yet reasonable expectations

Understanding is a constantly shifting creature

Every moment spend not content is a moment wasted - be content

I thought it might be fun and interesting to include my last several years of New Years Resolutions, just as a way to give myself perspective. I have added where I was at the time to assist in this;

2012 

(In St. Paul after applying for Grad School)

The course of this year saw the repetition of many ideas and words. They seemed to come out into two major categories: Trust in my choices - Stability, Focus, Belief/ Trust in who I am - Value, Fullness, Contentment. Therein...

Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

2011 

(In St. Paul)

Strive/ ENJOY/ Reflect

Flexibility/ Planning

Groundedness/ Change

Live the way you desire

2010 

(In St. Paul after trying Chicago)

Set to "Soweto" by Abdullah Ibrahim

CONCRETE

Dedicate time and resource toward living the way you wish

Spend more time actually enjoying your senses

Establish a morning routine

Personal style = doing what feels good

ABSTRACT

Allow personal and professional interests to blossom and inform one another

See life as a fluid stream of happenings that you are both informed by and inform

Trust your instincts

Be actively present in the world around you

Embrace change in yourself and others as simply another way in which the world unfolds

Seek out a sense of groundedness that serves as both a base for adventure and a point of balanced return

Allow space for moment to become what they will, free of limitation

2009 

(Calgary at DJD)

LITERAL:

Allow personal interests to operate with as much importance as other commitments

Be willing to dedicate time and resource toward living the way you wish

CHOICES:

The choices you make are not limited, but defining

Choices are just pockets out a world where similar happenings are occurring everywhere

See life as a fluid stream of happenings that may not be judged or separated ahead of time

Life as a whole can be informed by art, which in turn becomes a part of your whole life

Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook

Trust your instincts

Show your gratitude

CHANGE:

Retain consciousness of the world around you

Relationships do not have to be life-long to be life-changing

2008 

(Minneapolis after finishing undergrad)

LITERAL:

Give each action the amount of time and resource it deserves

Respect the need for unscheduled time each week; maintain a weekly day off

Allow general interests, personal goals and to-do's to operate with as much importance as work

CHOICES:

The choices you make are defining, not limiting

Choices are just pockets out of a world where similar things are happening everywhere

Resist the temptation to see life in chunks

Everything is a fluid stream of happenings that need not be separated for judged ahead of time

Life as a whole can be informed by art, which in turn becomes a part of your whole life

Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook

Embrace spontaneity with intention

CHANGE:

As it happens in and outside your control, work with change to make it positive

Retain consciousness of the world around you

2007 
(Minneapolis in senior Year at U of M)

LITERAL:

Be conscious of writing, speaking and packing

Money should not get in the way of experiences

Rather than buying a bunch of cheap things you want, save for and make those expensive purchases

MANTRAS:

Retain consciousness of the world around you

Embrace spontaneity with intention; experience life

As it happens inside and outside your control, work with change to make it positive

CHOICES:

The choices you make are defining, but not limiting
Choices are just pockets out of a world where similar things are happening everywhere

Let not assumptions interfere with your outlook

Convention does not have to get in the way of acting, reacting and feeling the way you truly want

Happy New Year :)