Surely, in the 16 years (16 YEARS?!) I've had this public-facing place to write, I've titled a post this way. I'm not gonna take the time to look back and check, but I say this because the guiding idea* "Keep It Simple" has been a big one for me for a long time.
As a curious person who tends to think deeply about everything (I checked my initial thought to write "who overthinks everything," which I don't think is true/ paints my intentionally in a negative light, and I don't need to do that to myself!), over the years it has become increasingly important to me to check in on this idea pretty regularly. If I don't, I tend to overextend myself, and stray away from choosing actively and often to stay focused on and appreciate the moment at hand, the practice I have been working hard in my adult life to build for myself. If I don't remind myself that the best way to really appreciate and enjoy my finite time is to keep how I use it 'Simple,' my curiosity and think think think would cause me to want to do everything and do it 'perfect' or 'the best.'
And that's the crux: 'do everything,' 'perfect' and 'the best' are NOT things. They just aren't. In a world with so much to offer, there is just no way to 'do everything,' and there is no one 'right' way to live. These seem like simple (see what I did there?) adages to understand and live by, but I've found them pretty rigorous to actually put into practice. While I don't subscribe anymore (I came to find it tedious and honestly, self-aggrandizing after awhile), one take-away from listening to "The Minimalists Podcast" is that "Simple isn't easy" (I concept I believed they noted as coined from someone else, but this source is where I picked it up). 'Easy' just means the path of least resistance. 'Simple' means uncomplicated.
To me, keeping my life uncomplicated means to lean into the things that really inspire me, bring me joy, allow me to contribute . . .
My innate and cultivated sense of wonderment with the world ('wonder' being my chosen word for this sense over the word 'curiosity,' which is also one I love!) is one of my favorite things about myself, but when allowed to run unconsciously through my life, it can cause me to be pulled in SO many directions (ex: "Let's go do this!," "Let's try this!," "Let's eat here!," "Let me also get some work done!," "If we hurry, we can also make it to this!" . . . all in half a day). While this can feel exciting, when done over and over and over, it can just feel unfocused and exhausting. I don't say this to squelch my (or anyone else's!) zest for life, but to remind myself that I am happiest and most balanced (and therein contributing beyond myself to the best of my ability) when I keep how I spend my resources of time, energy and focus SIMPLE.
For me, that looks like reminding myself of WHAT I really enjoy and WHY, so those ideas can keep guiding my choices. My DOINGS, as I have been calling them lately, to WHATS are:
Reflection
Connection
Movement
Food
Outdoors
Aesthetics
I wish and work for these things to take shape in SIMPLE ways. Like:
Reflection: this writing session.
Connection: having a bonfire with a friend in the backyard after Niko goes to sleep (or taking him to the beach near our house).
Movement: Going on a walk.
Food: Cooking a simple meal out of ingredients I keep on hand regularly.
Outdoors: again, going on a walk.
Aesthetics: getting dressed for the day.
I'm realizing that I DO have to do more complicated things in order to prioritize 'Simplicity,' which, consequently, is first on my list of VALUES or WHYS (which also includes Kindness, Wonder and Creativity). Things like manage my time with care and create and enforce boundaries, even when it's difficult! These complicated things have felt worth it to me in my pursuit of keeping it simple, as they have allowed me to feel balance in my professional and personal lives, and to keep reimagining them in ways that let me experience the above WHATS.
Those WHATS or DOINGS are the interest-centers I've defined for myself over the years, which also let me bring to life my WHYS/ VALUES. And leading all of that are my BELIEFS or things I BELIEVE help me be the best human I can be: Consciousness, Love, Vitality and Purpose.
Ok, now that I've taken the long way around (i.e. through revising ALL of my guiding ideas, which I hadn't planned to do!) to my point, I'll come back to it: every year around this time, I seem to have to write about what I want from Summer to be sure that at the end of it, I feel like I got everything I wanted out of it. This is sort of strange because I claim that Summer is my least favorite season, yet I always feel this desire to treat it with care so it yields what I want from it! Summer in the Midwest DOES have a certain magic to it: days are longer, the sun is out, people want to connect, it's pretty easy to be outside . . . all of these things make me want to "do Summer right," (as in, right for me - again, there is no 'one right way to do things' she says to herself :)).
To 'do it right' for me requires me to check in on all the above things so I can, ultimately, keep it simple, for all the reasons on which I've already waxed. So what's the Summer version of the DOINGS?
Reflection: writing | walks
Connection: bonfires | parents pools | visits with friends with Niko
Movement: walks | dance class | gym | hikes
Food: simple meals | new recipes after bedtime
Outdoors: walks | beach with Niko
Aesthetics: getting dressed
There are two items in the Movement category that I really do want, one from Summer in particular (hikes) and one in general (gym) that I have been finding it hard to fit in. In fact, strategizing on how to do this while I walked this morning is what kicked off this whole train of thought. For hikes, I think it might just be permissioning myself to take a couple afternoons Niko is in daycare and I'm 'supposed to be working' to take myself somewhere. Close by is fine, but a change of pace from walking in the neighborhood is desired!
As for the gym, it's been tough to fit in. I don't want to do it Tu/ Th mornings even though it would be easy to dump Niko into their childcare to do it, because I want those days for us. I just cordoned 6-8am M/ W from after Labor Day through State Fair for walk and gym. I will have to revisit this plan come Fall due to my teaching schedule, but that's part of the 'doing more complicated things to keep Simplicity possible,' in this case revisiting my schedule over and over and over.
And one thing I haven't wanted to admit in writing: I DO still want to go camping. I texted Sarah about trying for one night for us, and I think I'd like to find one night for myself. The night with her would be about Connection with a friend. The night on my own would be about Reflection for me. At one point, I tried the tactic of setting quarterly review days/ retreats of sorts for myself, and found that didn't really work for me schedule-wise. Plus, I don't need to set aside quarterly days: I reflect a lot more often than that (like now!). That said, I do think I desire the 'awayness' of it. Perhaps it doesn't need to be so rigid as to set four such times in the year, equally apart from one another, but to get out and have a day when I need it. Looking at my calendar now for a night I could make this work.
Booked :)
I think I also came here to remind myself that there are many things other people would like me to do with my time during the Summer, and that I do not have to fulfill those desires if they don't fit in with what brings me balance. Nor do I have to figure out all of what I'll say yes to RIGHT. NOW (even though I feel that push in myself!). You can figure out what makes sense when those times come!
Alright, rambly. Wrap it up. Bottom line (which is also sort of on top): Keep it simple :)
*I also checked my initial thought to write "Mantra," which is a word that belongs to a spiritual tradition I can't even name and certainly don't practice!
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