I've been thinking a lot, up here on my work-play trip to Duluth this week, about how there are so many things one could try in this life, far more than a person ever has enough time (and often other resources) for. Going on lots of hikes triggered these thoughts - it got me thinking about how I've become curious about light/ ultralight backpack hike-camping. And about how it's unlikely I'll really ever do it. And how that's ok.
Turns out, that is not a thing you DO a time or two. It's a thing you DO. I've noticed other things people DO here, being in Duluth. People mountain bike. People through-hike. I think all of these things are REALLY cool. And that kind of makes me want to do them. It seems what I am actually thinking is that I want to TRY a lot of things. And when I consider this deeper, I think it's actually true that I might not necessarily even want to TRY them. And that's ok.
When I watched people hurtling down trails on the mountain bikes as I hiked, my thought process was "Wow, that's so cool. Wow, you could really get hurt doing that. Wow, it probably takes a lot of specialized equipment. Wow, to invest in this practice, you'd really have to put in a lot of money and time. Wow, I like hiking. And dancing."
Part of me is a little disappointed in all this realism. Where's the zest for life?! I don't know if that fleeting thought will ever go away entirely. But I also feel pretty happy with what I have chosen. In fact, I have had a couple distinct moments in the studio this week of feeling as though I honestly cannot imagine having done anything else with my life. This is not to say that I don't feel myself capable of shift or change, but to say that the things that I actually do really fulfill me.
I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be up here this week, creating with a group of great new people with very few pressures surrounding the process. I'm making something I really like that's also pushing me, and getting to enjoy some other pursuits that also fulfill me - lots of hiking, some good food and some time with friends. I have also rested when my body has asked for it, and as much as that's not my favorite way to spend my time, I'm proud of myself for giving my body what it needs during a time in which I'm asking for a lot from it.
I didn't thrift. I haven't gotten to the gym (both things on my purposefully short list for the week). Who knows? Maybe I'll end up with time this afternoon that I hadn't planned on. It's ok if I don't.
All of this is to say that this week, I've been circling the familiar, unending spiral around one of my forever quandaries - how to best use my limited resources. I think as long as I accept that there really isn't a BEST, and that there is no way to try EVERYTHING in this life, I'll continue to build comfort around the idea that, as long as I'm keeping conscious around my choices, I'll use my limited resources well :)
Some images from this week's choices:
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